Overflowing Heart

My heart has been stolen and I am 100% in love with this sweet baby girl of ours! Eleanor Elizabeth was born on November 8, and we've been smitten ever since. I knew I would love my kids someday when we had them, but I never knew it was like this. Unquestionably we would do anything for this little life that has been entrusted to us. It has given us a whole new perspective on life, one that I must say I love. We've slowed down and just enjoyed "the moments" as they occur - and there are a lot of them now that we have a baby :) We spend countless hours just staring at her and trying to make her smile when she's awake.

I'll never forget the morning of December 6 when she first smiled in response to my talking and funny faces....it was priceless - yes, I cried! Her whole life to this point has been a succession of perfect timing and perfect little moments that I wouldn't change for the world. It's probably a good thing we waited until a little later in life to have children or I'd have a football team by now.

Ellie is such a good baby, and she's adapting to our lifestyle very well. She's already been to 2 ISU wrestling meets with a third scheduled for this weekend. It's been such a blessing to have friends that had babies just before us. They are so good about filling us in on the "little" things that I never would have expected, and their reviews of baby products has been so appreciated!

I guess I've been kind of nostalgic this week, and I've struggled with really missing Mom.....she would be 100% in he element being a Grandma right now, but everything happens for a reason. We talk about Grandma a lot to Ellie, and Josh's Mom does a great job of making sure she's loved and spoiled as only a Grandma can do. I am SO BLESSED to have the in-laws that I have. I'm more grateful for them every day!

We had a magnificent Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus, and hope you did too!

Continually Blessed....

I really have nothing important to say or news to share. I've just been so struck lately with how blessed we are. Sure, we've had a really rocky year, one that I do not care to ever repeat, however, things could be so much worse! I'm at a stage in life where I'm so completely content it's crazy! Both Josh and I have careers that make us a living and let us pay bills and live comfortably. We have reliable cars to get us to our jobs (though Josh would argue that since he STILL wants a new truck), we have a lovely little house that is perfect for us, we live in a community we love, we have hobbies that excite and challenge us, and we have friends and family that we adore. Seriously, what more could I ask for?

Would I bring Mom back if I could? ABSOLUTELY in a heartbeat, but there have been good things that have come because of her passing. That sounds strange, but it's true. People have mentioned how much her life and death impacted their own lives. Dad has forged some new friendships that I believe will last a lifetime.

And we're having a baby!! What in life could be more exciting? I felt "Hercules" as we've dubbed him/her move for the first time May 24 - AMAZING. Being pregnant has also caused us to slow down some and just enjoy life's little moments. Like sitting on the couch being totally lazy together. We know those days will soon be over, and it's given us a new found appreciation for those moments. Our "big appointment" is a week from today, June 29. As I mentioned before, Josh doesn't want to know the gender, and I do. So, we will be finding out : ) Then comes the painting and getting Hercules' room all ready to go. It will also begin the crazy task of naming this little life. I never understood how huge of a decision this really is.....WOW. I'm confused already and we really haven't hit the books hard yet.

After our appointment, providing the little one cooperates, we'll share the gender, however, I'm not one to officially name a child until he/she makes an appearance. We'll have a short list to take to the hospital, then will decide when we see that precious little face. I need to try the names on : )

We have so many friends and family members expecting right now, too - it's fun to have people to take this journey with! Some of them are on numbers 2 and 3, and several are first time Mom's like me. It's a great mix of the wonders of a first time pregnancy and the advice the more experienced Mom's can provide.

See? Told you life was good and we've been blessed! The BBQ madness continues, and we're having a good season thus far. Looking forward to hitting the trail to Marshalltown this weekend for the Iowa State BBQ Championship sponsored by the Iowa BBQ Society.

Hope you all take time to "stop and smell the roses" and enjoy all of life's little blessings as well.

The Calm Before the Storm

Lots has happened since our last update......it's been busy!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter celebrating our risen Savior! We spent the day in Waterloo with Dad and John. It was a lovely weekend, though bittersweet. We saw Mom's headstone for the first time. I'm not sure it's appropriate to say, but it's beautiful....Mom would be proud. There is something shocking about seeing the family names on a headstone however. I know it's another step in the process of healing, but I'm not a fan.

2 weekends before Easter, we headed to Jefferson City, MO to compete in the Butt-to-Butt invitational and the Capital City Cookoff. The Butt-to-Butt is an invitational for 10 cooks that win the pork category in certain contests throughout the year. Since we won pork at the Iowa State BBQ Championship last year in Marshalltown, we were invited. It's an honor just to be there - you should have seen the list of cooks - holy cow. I definitely felt we were the underdogs. We cooked pork all night Thursday night for a Friday afternoon turn in. We thought our meat was good, but had no idea how we'd fare with the competition. The awards are handled differently than most awards ceremonies. I think Mike Lake's goal is to have one of the competitors have a coronary during the ceremony. Only 7 teams could attend the contest this year, so Mike called all 7 teams up front. Then he announced places 6-2, leaving only the first and last places standing. I was really praying for a 2nd or 3rd place call, but of course.....we had to be one of the last 2 standing. We were honored to be up there with Randy Twyford as the last 2 standing. Mike decides now is a good time for some small talk and chit chat, while I'm standing at the back of the crowd trying not to throw up. When all was FINALLY said and done, Meadow Valley BBQ came out as the Butt-to-Butt XIII champs and winners of a nice cash prize and the coveted Boar's Tooth Necklace. I'm not going to lie....I freaked. I am just slightly competitive and get a little excited at awards.....once my little celebration dance was over, I turned around to see a huge circle had cleared around me....ooops....oh well. There are only 13 people in the world that can claim this honor, and we're humbled to be one of them. Since the contest, Josh and Steve have been fighting over who gets to take the necklace to show it off. It was a good start to the BBQ contest season!

I believe our next contest will be May 20-21 in Austin, MN. Then the madness begins from there.....it's looking to be a very busy summer with a graduation, a new neice or nephew, and lots of work projects for both Josh and I.

We're also excited to announce 2 new additions to the Bryant family.....

The first is a 2009 Toyota Camry. Since I drive 60 miles each day for work, we decided a more gas efficient vehicle was a wise purchase. We really like the Camry and are looking forward to 300,000 miles with her!

The second addition is a new little member of Meadow Valley BBQ! YES - we are expecting!! We are due 11/11/11 and are so excited and humbled to have been chosen to be parents. All the grandparents are excited, and I'm sure Mom is rejoicing in heaven over her first grandbaby. Baby Bryant has good timing too; we'll make it all the way through BBQ season, and most of the way through ISU football before the big day. We'll also not miss much of the wrestling season - what a good kid! :)

We are completely head over heels in love with our little creation already. The more I read about pregnancy and birth, the more amazed I become at what a miracle it is. It's a surreal feeling to know that I'm carrying our little one in my belly, and to know that every decision I make impacts this little life. I love it! I can't wait until we can feel him/her move!

We've had one ultrasound already, and have another this week. It's still too early to see the gender, and we're still "fighting" over whether to find out or not. I want to, Josh doesn't. I have a crazy need to organize and get things ready, and he just doesn't understand. He thinks we can just buy everything in yellow and green. That used to be the case, and let me tell you....it is no longer! Even at the baby stores, there is so little that is gender neutral anymore! So....I will totally win, I assure you :)

We already have a Meadow Valley BBQ onesie ready for Baby Bryant, too : )

I think spring is finally here, and we've enjoyed having the windows open to get some fresh air. Hope you all are enjoying this season as well!

Spring is on the Way!

We've been teased with a few gorgeous days recently just to remind us that spring really is on it's way....sometime!

Things have been really busy it seems, but we can't pinpoint exactly why. We've both been spending lots of hours working, and struggling to find time off together to take a vacation. Josh's busy season is now through the end of March, and mine is June through the end of the year, leaving very little time for get aways. I took a week off in February simply because I have 6 weeks to use this year and needed a mental break. I love my job, but it's high stress and exhausting. Taking a day off really doesn't work overly week, so I took an entire week and didn't touch my laptop or Blackberry the entire week - it was so refreshing! The first part of the week I spent with Dad touring his new home come April of 2012. It's a lovely early retirement community of independent living condos and it has all the luxuries of a 5 star resort! I wish I was 55 so I could move in!

Wednesday, February 16, we lost our sweet Gretchen. She had been diagnosed with bone cancer in November, and it was time. She was no longer enjoying life to the fullest, and I could tell she was tired. I spent all day Wednesday snuggling her and crying, then we said goodbye Wednesday evening. It was the toughest decision I've had to make yet, but I am 100% confident it was the right decision. Josh had never had to make that decision before either, so it was another first in our marriage. We've had a lot of those lately!

The rest of the week was spent painting the entire upstairs of our house, which, for those of you that have seen it, is no small feat! It's not a mansion by any means, but our kitchen, dining, and living room are all one big open room, and the ceiling is vaulted, making for some very challenging spots to cover! Thanks to 2 dear friends of mine, we managed to complete the entire project in a day! Yes, you read that right.....ONE DAY! It would have taken me weeks by myself.

The weekend before I had painted the master bedroom a lovely blue color, so now, with the exception of the other 2 bedrooms upstairs, everything is painted!

To cap off the week, Josh and I took a little weekend get away to Minneapolis. We did it last year, too, and it was so much fun we decided to try again. We love Ikea and the outlet mall in Albertville. There is an Under Armour outlet there that Josh cleaned out last year, so that was destination #1. He didn't fare well there this year. I, however, managed to fill up the back end with good deals. Oh well, there's always next year!

BBQ season is nearly here! I can't believe our first contest is just over a month away in Jefferson City, MO, home of the Butt-to-Butt invitational. We won 1st place in pork at the Iowa State BBQ Championship in Marshalltown last year, earning a spot in the prestigious Butt-to-Butt invitiation, where we'll compete for an enviable boar's tooth necklace. It will be our first cook of the season, so I'm not getting my hopes too high, but maybe, just maybe, we'll luck out!

In May, Mom's headstone should be installed, so Josh and I will head to Waterloo to see it for the first time. Another first in our marriage. With each event of this last year, I've been shown time and time again why I married this man. He is amazing, and I'm sure my outlook and view on life would be much different had he not been by my side through the challenges of this last year.

Babies, babies everywhere! We have many friends and family members expecting sweet little bundles of joy this year, so that will add lots of fun and excitement to our year, I'm sure! I think the first is due in June, then several this fall. I can't wait to buy baby gifts and spoil all the sweet little munchkins!

The ISU wrestling season is now over, with the exception of the NCAA tournament in a couple weeks. It was definitely not a season for the record books, but we're encouraged by the marked improvement the team showed throughout the year. The next year or 2 should continue to improve and I anticipate Iowa State to be considered a wrestling powerhouse again soon. It's a good thing we have BBQ since all our Cyclone sports are done now! I don't know what I'd do without a weekend hobby....ugh.

That's about all the excitement here - as you can tell - we're really not that exciting. We're just thoroughly enjoying life as a married couple, relaxing, taking little weekends away, and finding little home projects to keep us entertained.

We love visitors, and have 2 spare bedrooms, so if you're in the area, stop by - we'd love to see you!

Merry Christmas!

2010 has been a roller coaster year in our household, but we still feel blessed. We both have jobs that we like, we have a roof over our heads and vehicles to get us around, and we are surrounded by family and friends. Things could be worse.

The latest blow this year (and hopefully the last) was finding out that our sweet Gretchen has bone cancer. I'll admit I was angry, probably beyond angry, but you get the idea. REALLY???? I already lost Mom this year, now you're going to take away my sweet girl, too? And BOTH to cancer? Seriously.....something had to give. I was angry for a long time. I still am at times, but we've had some really sweet moments since the diagnosis and I've cherished the time we've had. Life will be an adjustment once she's gone. At least she'll be here through Christmas. She's still a happy girl, still gets up and wags her tail when we get home. Occassionally she gets the urge to try to run and chase rabbits, and that's hard on 3 legs when you're over 100 lbs. She's enjoying the extra pampering, and my "no people food for the dogs" rule has gone by the wayside for the time being.

We are definitely looking forward to a much better 2011.

We are now done with football season and on to wrestling. Iowa State has a bunch of really young guys that look promising, but it will definitely be a challenging year for the team. Basketball has also started, and started off very well! Apparently The Mayor, Freddy Hoiberg has breathed some life into the men's basketball team. I hope to get to catch a game to two this year to watch him coach. Another young team that looks very promising over the next couple of years!

We pray each of you had a great 2010. Please hug your families close and spend as much time as possible with them - life is short. As you celebrate CHRISTmas this year, remember the Reason for the season and take time to thank God for his indescribable gift.

Happy Thanksgiving

I can't believe Thanksgiving is this week....time really does seem to fly. I know it's cliche to write what you're thankful for this time of year, however, I feel this exericise is a must for me this year with everything we've been through, so here goes. I'm thankful for:
- my wonderfully amazing husband
- my Dad and brother
- my job, as challenging as it has been lately
- our house. We could have lost it all in the flood, but we didn't
- our dogs - yes, sounds crazy, but I love coming home to them. They make me laugh every day

Elsewhere in the Bryant household......it's been crazy busy. We've had foootball games, which I love, and Josh even surprised me with a trip to Colorado to watch our Cyclones play as a birthday present! I was so excited! We drove out Friday, and back on Sunday, so it was a short trip, but was wonderful to get away none the less. I was sick all the way out there on Friday, and made a normal 9 hour trip 12 hours, but my dear husband didn't complain. He's one patient man. Once we checked into the hotel, he went to the nearest Target adn got me all kinds of flu medicines and supplies. I felt some better Saturday morning and was able to enjoy the game. Boulder and the Colorado campus are both really pretty. I think the highlight of the day was watching Ralphie the buffalo run the field prior to the game. It was very sad to see all the Cyclone fans show up when the team decided not to play, but you take the good with the bad.

Yesterday we concluded the 2010 football season with a home game vs. #15 Missouri. We held them to 14 points, but couldn't find a way to score ourselves. Oh well, at least the tailgate party was fun. I decided this morning that I'm too old to tailgate every weekend and that we need to move up a couple lots closer to the stadium next year so we don't have as far to walk...yes, I'm THAT old now!

I'm really looking forward to having Dad and John come down for Thanksgiving this year. We are going to Josh's parent's house in Ames for dinner. It will be a very bittersweet day. I've found myself wishing several times this year that the holidays would just be over so we can try to move on. I can't imagine Thanksgiving and Christmas without Mom, but I guess I'll experience both very soon. Please pray that I will hang onto the reason for the season and the good memories. I'm most worried about Dad. He's lonely despite his efforts to keep very busy, and I'm sure once winter sets in and he's not outside as much it will be more noticeable. I pray I will know best how to support him.

Here's wishing you and your families a wonderful Thanksgiving next week!

Summer/Fall Update

So I see my good intentions to update once a month didn't come to fruition. Oh well, it's been quite a summer for us, and I've been distracted.

Quite honestly, I would really like to rewind and do this summer all over again. In some selfish way, I feel Josh and I have been "jipped" and haven't been able to enjoy young married life because of what our summer had in store for us.

July started with the news that Mom should really get things in order and start meeting with hospice. On July 10th, while I was sitting in Shannon, IL at a BBQ contest, Mom's Dr. called and told me the cancer really had progressed to the point there was nothing more to do than to keep her comfortable. We knew the day would come, but still prayed for a miracle. After the contest, Josh and I rushed to Waterloo, just in time for her to be released from the hospital to the Cedar Valley Hospice House. We drove her there, and she walked in the front door herself. I think the volunteer that greets peope at the house thought we were there to visit someone. When she asked if she could help and Mom replied that she was there to be admitted, a panic stricken look crossed the lady's eyes and we were immediatly surrounded by the loving staff. I don't think many hospice patients walk into the house to admit themselves. Mom has always been unique I guess.

I remember immediately being overcome and crying. I was expecting a sterile, hospital-esque place that smelled like cleaning agents, and instead we were greeted with warm colors, plants, flowers, and a simply beautiful facility. There are only 6 rooms at the Cedar Valley Hospice House, and it truly feels like home. There is a full kitchen, dining room, living room, kids play room, and library for the families of patients, and they encourage you to stay and make yourself comfortable. Far from a hospital setting.

They gave Mom the 2nd largest room they had ( I think they knew she would be popular and have lots of visitors) : ) The first few days were spent trying to control her pain. The goal was to get her home, but she worsened fairly quickly, and decided to stay at the hospice house where the wonderful staff could assist when needed.

Her birthday was July 16, and the day started off with us receiving an offer on the house we had for sale in Ankeny. The buyers would pay full asking price, just wanted a little in closing concessions - SOLD! Mom was thrilled. We had to force her to sleep that morning to rest up for an afternoon of surprises. Several families from church brought their kids in to sing to Mom. They also brought her ballons, flowers, and a pillow case they each signed. She was so so happy and she insisted on reading every word of every card out loud. Some dear friends from the Des Moines area were there and caught the whole party on video - we will treasure that for a lifetime. The overnight staff also made a couple batches of cupcakes for her, then they sang to her in the morning - it was such a sweet, tender time.

Mom has written a tract, and there were a couple minor adjustments she wanted to make to it. It was amazing to see how fast she declined physically once she knew that the changes had been made and we had 1,000 copies of the new version in our hands. She made it very clear that each of her funeral service bulletins contained a tract.

I'm so glad that we had such a wonderful day, because just 10 days later, Mom went to be with Jesus. We saw a steady decline, but thankfully she was fairly alert and recognized everyone up until the last 2 days or so. I decided to go home Sunday night to get some rest and do some laundry, then was planning to pick up some family members from the DSM airport Monday and get back to Waterloo. Monday afternoon as I was trying to take a nap, the nurse called and said Mom was not doing well. I immediately hit the road for Waterloo and called Josh to see if he could get to the airport for the relatives. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband....he didn't miss a beat and said he would take care of it - and he'd never met these relatives so had NO IDEA who to look for. In times like these, you really find out what people are made of, and I can't believe I'm so lucky to have Josh.

I was about 20 minutes from Waterloo and the dreaded call came. I had been praying the whole way that I'd get to tell her I loved her and give her one last kiss. Mom and I never had the talk, but she knew me well enough to know that I was very anxious to be present for "the moment". I've heard it's peaceful and actually quite a beautiful experience, but I was anxious. She must have known, because she passed away surrounded by Dad, John, and a room full of wonderful friends from church. That morning this group of friends had been surrounding her bed singing - something Mom LOVED to do, up until the very end. I arrived about 20 minutes after she passed away, and they asked if I wanted to see her. Not sure why, but I did. She had the most peaceful, happy look on her face, and my only consolation at that moment was that she had already seen Jesus and was no longer in pain.

As is typical in our family, we had to have a funny moment. Mom's mouth was wide open as she was lying there, and Dad asked the nurse why. She explained the reasons, and I just looked at Dad and said, "Dad, she can't sing with her mouth closed". We all laughed and cried, but I think it was the tension breaker we needed.

The next several days were an exhausting race to get everyone called and the services planned. Thankfully Mom had planned her funeral complete with 7 songs, so that made things easier. Her funeral was exactly how she wanted it....explaining to people how they can know they are going to heaven someday. I so admire her love for her Lord and they way she used her 3 year battle with cancer to witness to others.

Losing my Mom at a young age really made me re-prioritize things in life. We only have a certain number of days on this earth, and we need to make sure they matter. "Stuff" doesn't matter, people do. Hopefully I've done a better job of telling people I love them and spending more time with them. Dad, John, and I have become much closer through this experience. I'd still take Mom back in a heartbeat, but it's been neat to see our little family of 3 grow even closer.

Just 2 weeks after Mom's funeral, our basement flooded. We'd had 7 inches of rain in a matter of a couple hours, and the power had gone out, causing the sump pump to quit. Our sump has never run, and we've never had a drop of water in our basement. There is a creek behind the houses across the street from us, and it's typically 4-6" deep. It was up in our front yard.....there was water 4 feet deep in the street. Thankfully I woke up when the power went out an we were able to get plugged into the neighbors generator and drain the basement quickly. Then all the moving started. Nothing like moving all your belongings sopping wet with flashlights on your head in the middle of the night.

Just last week, the basement was officially finished and we've moved back in. We now have a back up on the sump pump so this will hopefully never happen again. And, thankfully, the house we were selling in Ankeny was saved from the flood and we were able to close as planned 5 days later.

We've been slowly figuring out what our "new normal" is since losing Mom and are getting back into the swing of things. We're ready for life to slow down a bit so we can relax and enjoy some time together, but we figure if we've made it through this last summer, we're set for life. Trials like this seem to make or break people and relationships, and I can say that I'm more in love with Josh now than I was 6 months ago. Not sure how I was chosen to be so blessed, but I won't complain!

One of the highlights of the fall was ISU football starting, and having a decent 1st half of the season. I love my Cyclones, but with the schedule this year thought we'd be lucky to win 2 games. We've already won 3, and we're off to watch our boys play #10 Utah tonight. Hopefully they play like they did last weekend - that would be exciting!

Sorry for the very long post, this is the first time I've written about losing Mom, and it was somewhat therapeutic amidst the tears and memories.

Wishing all our family and friends a very Happy Fall Season! Christmas is coming - my very favorite time of year! Now....go hug your loved ones tight and tell them you love them. Life is too short!