So I see my good intentions to update once a month didn't come to fruition. Oh well, it's been quite a summer for us, and I've been distracted.
Quite honestly, I would really like to rewind and do this summer all over again. In some selfish way, I feel Josh and I have been "jipped" and haven't been able to enjoy young married life because of what our summer had in store for us.
July started with the news that Mom should really get things in order and start meeting with hospice. On July 10th, while I was sitting in Shannon, IL at a BBQ contest, Mom's Dr. called and told me the cancer really had progressed to the point there was nothing more to do than to keep her comfortable. We knew the day would come, but still prayed for a miracle. After the contest, Josh and I rushed to Waterloo, just in time for her to be released from the hospital to the Cedar Valley Hospice House. We drove her there, and she walked in the front door herself. I think the volunteer that greets peope at the house thought we were there to visit someone. When she asked if she could help and Mom replied that she was there to be admitted, a panic stricken look crossed the lady's eyes and we were immediatly surrounded by the loving staff. I don't think many hospice patients walk into the house to admit themselves. Mom has always been unique I guess.
I remember immediately being overcome and crying. I was expecting a sterile, hospital-esque place that smelled like cleaning agents, and instead we were greeted with warm colors, plants, flowers, and a simply beautiful facility. There are only 6 rooms at the Cedar Valley Hospice House, and it truly feels like home. There is a full kitchen, dining room, living room, kids play room, and library for the families of patients, and they encourage you to stay and make yourself comfortable. Far from a hospital setting.
They gave Mom the 2nd largest room they had ( I think they knew she would be popular and have lots of visitors) : ) The first few days were spent trying to control her pain. The goal was to get her home, but she worsened fairly quickly, and decided to stay at the hospice house where the wonderful staff could assist when needed.
Her birthday was July 16, and the day started off with us receiving an offer on the house we had for sale in Ankeny. The buyers would pay full asking price, just wanted a little in closing concessions - SOLD! Mom was thrilled. We had to force her to sleep that morning to rest up for an afternoon of surprises. Several families from church brought their kids in to sing to Mom. They also brought her ballons, flowers, and a pillow case they each signed. She was so so happy and she insisted on reading every word of every card out loud. Some dear friends from the Des Moines area were there and caught the whole party on video - we will treasure that for a lifetime. The overnight staff also made a couple batches of cupcakes for her, then they sang to her in the morning - it was such a sweet, tender time.
Mom has written a tract, and there were a couple minor adjustments she wanted to make to it. It was amazing to see how fast she declined physically once she knew that the changes had been made and we had 1,000 copies of the new version in our hands. She made it very clear that each of her funeral service bulletins contained a tract.
I'm so glad that we had such a wonderful day, because just 10 days later, Mom went to be with Jesus. We saw a steady decline, but thankfully she was fairly alert and recognized everyone up until the last 2 days or so. I decided to go home Sunday night to get some rest and do some laundry, then was planning to pick up some family members from the DSM airport Monday and get back to Waterloo. Monday afternoon as I was trying to take a nap, the nurse called and said Mom was not doing well. I immediately hit the road for Waterloo and called Josh to see if he could get to the airport for the relatives. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband....he didn't miss a beat and said he would take care of it - and he'd never met these relatives so had NO IDEA who to look for. In times like these, you really find out what people are made of, and I can't believe I'm so lucky to have Josh.
I was about 20 minutes from Waterloo and the dreaded call came. I had been praying the whole way that I'd get to tell her I loved her and give her one last kiss. Mom and I never had the talk, but she knew me well enough to know that I was very anxious to be present for "the moment". I've heard it's peaceful and actually quite a beautiful experience, but I was anxious. She must have known, because she passed away surrounded by Dad, John, and a room full of wonderful friends from church. That morning this group of friends had been surrounding her bed singing - something Mom LOVED to do, up until the very end. I arrived about 20 minutes after she passed away, and they asked if I wanted to see her. Not sure why, but I did. She had the most peaceful, happy look on her face, and my only consolation at that moment was that she had already seen Jesus and was no longer in pain.
As is typical in our family, we had to have a funny moment. Mom's mouth was wide open as she was lying there, and Dad asked the nurse why. She explained the reasons, and I just looked at Dad and said, "Dad, she can't sing with her mouth closed". We all laughed and cried, but I think it was the tension breaker we needed.
The next several days were an exhausting race to get everyone called and the services planned. Thankfully Mom had planned her funeral complete with 7 songs, so that made things easier. Her funeral was exactly how she wanted it....explaining to people how they can know they are going to heaven someday. I so admire her love for her Lord and they way she used her 3 year battle with cancer to witness to others.
Losing my Mom at a young age really made me re-prioritize things in life. We only have a certain number of days on this earth, and we need to make sure they matter. "Stuff" doesn't matter, people do. Hopefully I've done a better job of telling people I love them and spending more time with them. Dad, John, and I have become much closer through this experience. I'd still take Mom back in a heartbeat, but it's been neat to see our little family of 3 grow even closer.
Just 2 weeks after Mom's funeral, our basement flooded. We'd had 7 inches of rain in a matter of a couple hours, and the power had gone out, causing the sump pump to quit. Our sump has never run, and we've never had a drop of water in our basement. There is a creek behind the houses across the street from us, and it's typically 4-6" deep. It was up in our front yard.....there was water 4 feet deep in the street. Thankfully I woke up when the power went out an we were able to get plugged into the neighbors generator and drain the basement quickly. Then all the moving started. Nothing like moving all your belongings sopping wet with flashlights on your head in the middle of the night.
Just last week, the basement was officially finished and we've moved back in. We now have a back up on the sump pump so this will hopefully never happen again. And, thankfully, the house we were selling in Ankeny was saved from the flood and we were able to close as planned 5 days later.
We've been slowly figuring out what our "new normal" is since losing Mom and are getting back into the swing of things. We're ready for life to slow down a bit so we can relax and enjoy some time together, but we figure if we've made it through this last summer, we're set for life. Trials like this seem to make or break people and relationships, and I can say that I'm more in love with Josh now than I was 6 months ago. Not sure how I was chosen to be so blessed, but I won't complain!
One of the highlights of the fall was ISU football starting, and having a decent 1st half of the season. I love my Cyclones, but with the schedule this year thought we'd be lucky to win 2 games. We've already won 3, and we're off to watch our boys play #10 Utah tonight. Hopefully they play like they did last weekend - that would be exciting!
Sorry for the very long post, this is the first time I've written about losing Mom, and it was somewhat therapeutic amidst the tears and memories.
Wishing all our family and friends a very Happy Fall Season! Christmas is coming - my very favorite time of year! Now....go hug your loved ones tight and tell them you love them. Life is too short!
